Do Doulas Replace Dads?

Absolutely not! Fathers are often able to participate more fully with a doula present. The top two fears that most fathers have surrounding pregnancy and birth are the worry about the safety of his unborn child and his partner. Much of that fear is gone when a doula is present because she can provide informational support about the labor as it progresses, and her calming influence allows the father to give the love and support that his partner needs to feel.

The presence of a doula complements a father's role and strengthens it. A doula often can give suggestions and encourage the father to touch, to talk, and to help in ways that feel truly comfortable to him and comforting to the mother.

Fathers, with the support of the doula, are able to participate at any level that feels right and natural for them. In this way, fathers can experience fully the joy and wonder of watching their babies come into the world.

What does a Dad/Doula partnership look like during labor?

Early labor at home:

The doula can stay with the mother while the father takes care of last minute necessities, i.e., phoning friends, the hospital, and relatives, arranging childcare for siblings. If father needs to get gas for the car, pack the hospital bag, etc., the doula is available to stay and comfort mother.

The doula checks in with both father and mother to make sure they eating and drinking well. Either the father or the doula can fix light snacks while the other provides support.

If mother wants to walk around the house or neighborhood, either the father or the doula can attend the mother while the other answers the phone or watches siblings.

At the Birth Center or Hospital:

Upon check in, both mother and father will have questions to answer and sometimes paperwork to fill out. While this is happening the doula can find necessary items like ice, extra pillows and blankets, and birth balls. The doula can locate the microwave and vending machines and pay phones. She can also set up the room, bringing in a rocking chair, turning on music, turning down lights and bringing scents into the room.

If procedures or interventions are suggested, the doula can remind you of your options and alternatives. The doula offers information so father and mother can make informed decisions together.

The doula can take a photo journal of the birth and include both mother and father throughout labor and after birth.

Active labor, transition, and pushing:

The doula and father can relieve each other for eating, bathroom breaks, etc so that the mother is never left alone in labor.

A doula can help preserve a peaceful, private environment for the laboring couple. If family and friends are attending the birth, the doula can help organize the group so everyone has tasks appropriate for them. The doula can also run interference, or ask for people to leave if someone becomes anxious or obtrusive.

The father will often provide the very close, physical support, especially if "back labor" is present, while the doula gently coaches him from the side or from behind. Often two people are needed for relieving back labor pain, especially when using a "double hip" squeeze.

During pushing, the doula is often talking the mother through each contraction, allowing the father to watch the birth of his baby while holding the mother's hand or leg.

Cesarean Births

Immediately after the birth, the doula can stay with the mother while the incisions are repaired. This allows the father to be with the newborn while he/she is taken to the warming area for procedures.

After the Birth

The doula typically stays until the mother and baby are stable and the baby is breastfeeding well. The doula can take photographs of the new family, can arrange for cord blood pick up and make phone calls. The doula can update family waiting in the waiting room, as well as talk to them about the birth, buying quiet time for the new parents and baby, if that is your wish. The doula usually leaves when everything is calm or when family begins to come in. Typically, a doula stays between an hour and two hours after a birth.